Writing is a solitary craft, but that doesn’t mean we don’t want to relate to others (especially other writers). That said, here are 18, “You know you’re a fiction writer” statements I hope you can connect to (and perhaps laugh at 😉 ).
You Know You’re a Fiction Writer…
1. When you pity your characters at the start of your story because you know what they’ll go through later,
2. When you thought writing was for introverts but realize in order to sell books, you must meet lots and lots of people,
3. When you are one of the most unproductive human beings to ever stare at a computer screen,
4. When you pause at stop signs for an extra second or two because you have to document an idea before you drive on,
5. When you steal your friend’s phone to text yourself ideas because you don’t have yours within reach,
6. When you write something like, “The people were depressed because they were sad” and realize you should have picked another career,
7. When you write something like, “He walked into the room with the stride of a man wishing for death and the broken nobility of a dethroned king hiding behind his eyes” the next second and wonder if both those sentences came out of one brain,
8. When you resent other writers who are terrible to their characters but believe you are fully justified when you put your own through the gauntlet,
9. When you come up with your best ideas when you aren’t writing,
10. When someone sends you into a panic by trying to read your first draft over your shoulder,
11. When you designate a notebook for a specific idea or topic, and a week later, it’s full of anything from your grocery list to which way a character is going to die in the next chapter,
12. When your wall now has a permanent indent from where you bang your head against it,
13. When you struggle to find the right name for a character for days on end,
14. When you have to change that name because you realize another famous character has it,
15. When you switch between thinking you’re a writer worthy of Shakespeare and believing you’re the worst blob of flesh to ever pick up a pen often,
16. When you meet other writers for the first time and feel like you’re no longer an endangered species,
17. When a non-writer friend calls you “fascinating” when you share an idea you’re really excited about,
18. When you resolve to get a bunch of writing done but somehow manage to watch five episodes of your favorite show while your empty notepad is sitting beside you, judging you,
You know you’re a fiction writer.
Which one did you relate to the most? Do you have any of your own? I’d love to hear them!
Gabrielle R. Pollack