Edward was too lazy to give me another lesson *glares at Edward*. Characters, anyway.
Since he refused to help me out, I thought I’d throw together installment 3 of You Know You’re a Fiction Writer instead. I hope you enjoy!
You know you’re a fiction writer….
1. When you get excited over storycraft books,
2. When being alone in a library makes you feel like you’ve died and gone to heaven,
3. When you keep people-watching notes on your phone,
4. When you have to add words to your electronic dictionaries so Google and Microsoft Word won’t underline character names with red,
5. When you’re flooded with nostalgia when you think about your old stories,
6. When you call characters your children,
7. When new pens excite you,
8. When all you want in life is a cozy writing room and enough money from a published book to cover life expenses and extra snacks. And maybe a castle. And a few trips around the world. A cruise wouldn’t hurt, either.
9. When reading epic stories make you want to change a bazillion things about your novel,
10. When you create soundtracks for your books and characters,
11. When you’re afraid of buying random books because they might stink and you’ll be forced to condemn them,
12. When you read and enjoy classics you would have abhorred in high school,
13. When you push aside hard writing projects by doing easy writing projects to make yourself feel better about procrastinating,
14. When you’re proud of yourself for writing a giant book,
15. Then you realize you must edit that gigantic book and panic,
16. When thinking about the torment you will cause your readers makes you grin,
17. When you dream of building an expansive library and loathe getting rid of books,
18. When you love subplots but have a hard time weaving all the threads together into a unified story,
19. When you could spend hours analyzing the last story you read or film you watched,
20. When you relax for two seconds and suddenly have two books to edit, a blog post to write, a beta project, 17 comments and emails to reply to, and a room that looks like the wake of a category five hurricane,
you know you’re a fiction writer.
-Gabrielle R. Pollack