You Know You’re a Fiction Writer #4

Writing is a solitary craft, but that doesn’t mean we don’t want to relate to others (especially other writers). That said, here are 18, “You know you’re a fiction writer” statements I hope you can connect to (and perhaps laugh at 😉 ). 

You Know You’re a Fiction Writer…

1. When you pity your characters at the start of your story because you know what they’ll go through later,

2. When you thought writing was for introverts but realize in order to sell books, you must meet lots and lots of people,

3. When you are one of the most unproductive human beings to ever stare at a computer screen,

4. When you pause at stop signs for an extra second or two because you have to document an idea before you drive on,

5. When you steal your friend’s phone to text yourself ideas because you don’t have yours within reach,

6. When you write something like, “The people were depressed because they were sad” and realize you should have picked another career,

7. When you write something like, “He walked into the room with the stride of a man wishing for death and the broken nobility of a dethroned king hiding behind his eyes” the next second and wonder if both those sentences came out of one brain, Read more

You Know You’re a Fiction Writer… (#3)

Edward was too lazy to give me another lesson *glares at Edward*. Characters, anyway.

Since he refused to help me out, I thought I’d throw together installment 3 of You Know You’re a Fiction Writer instead. I hope you enjoy!

You know you’re a fiction writer….

1. When you get excited over storycraft books,

2. When being alone in a library makes you feel like you’ve died and gone to heaven,

3. When you keep people-watching notes on your phone,

4. When you have to add words to your electronic dictionaries so Google and Microsoft Word won’t underline character names with red,

5. When you’re flooded with nostalgia when you think about your old stories,

6. When you call characters your children,

7. When new pens excite you,

8. When all you want in life is a cozy writing room and enough money from a published book to cover life expenses and extra snacks. And maybe a castle. And a few trips around the world. A cruise wouldn’t hurt, either.

9. When reading epic stories make you want to change a bazillion things about your novel,

10. When you create soundtracks for your books and characters,

11. When you’re afraid of buying random books because they might stink and you’ll be forced to condemn them,

12. When you read and enjoy classics you would have abhorred in high school,

13. When you push aside hard writing projects by doing easy writing projects to make yourself feel better about procrastinating,

14. When you’re proud of yourself for writing a giant book,

15. Then you realize you must edit that gigantic book and panic,

16. When thinking about the torment you will cause your readers makes you grin,

17. When you dream of building an expansive library and loathe getting rid of books,

18. When you love subplots but have a hard time weaving all the threads together into a unified story,

19. When you could spend hours analyzing the last story you read or film you watched, 

And finally…

20. When you relax for two seconds and suddenly have two books to edit, a blog post to write, a beta project, 17 comments and emails to reply to, and a room that looks like the wake of a category five hurricane,

you know you’re a fiction writer. 

-Gabrielle R. Pollack

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